Dear You-know-who,
Ever since we first started talking you've been the sweetest. Most people change, but oh, not you. You, my dear, are unlike all the others.
Lately everytime you look at me I have feelings that are so overwhelming I can't handle them. Sometimes, I punch a wall. Oh? What did you say? You didn't hear me? I forgot how amazingly attentitive you are, hanging on my every word. It's not like I have to repeat things over and over... and over again. The way you ignore my every comment and move just makes me fall harder and harder in love with you by the minute. Personally, I love how you said you loved me first. You think I didn't notice the subtle message inside the words but I did darling, stupid me, I told you back. The worst part is I actually meant it and you do not.
My other absolute FAVORITE thing about you is how you act around me. You're so sweet and gentle. Let's just hope your best friend doesn't come around though, then things might get dicey. She was talking about me? Oh and what did you do? Nothing, oh okay, you didn't want to fight? Well don't worry I don't care one bit that you let someone you love get trashed by someone who's trashed you.
Personally, I just think you're an amazing girlfriend. I NEVER want to break up with you. It just so happens that everytime I see your face lately I want to vomit, throw a baby down stairs, punch a wall, or possibly punch you. I just hope that as life goes on, you become even more spectacular of a person than you are now. I sincerly hope you are treated nicely. I also hope you NEVER get hurt, that would be a shame, wouldn't it?
Love,
Your "Girlfriend"
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Monday, January 14, 2013
Revenge is the Sweetest
I am in love with revenge. Even though it's "immature" it is probably one of my favorite things. I mean, come on, who hasn't done something mean to someone after they've hurt them and felt better? Revenge is the dumbest yet most satisfying feeling to have. Even though you feel bad about it, you feel revived and get a sense of accomplishment that the person knows how you felt. Instead of beating around the bush to try and fix things, screw it. Get them back for what they did. You have to know your limits, though. You can't burn someone's family alive just because they stepped on your lawn and ruined the grass. There should be a level accepted by the majority of humanity that indicates the appropriate time to retaliate. Think of it as a rollercoaster. If they made you this mad, you have permission to punch them in the face. Oh, sorry, what they did isn't that bad according to the scale. Looks like you don't have the right to get them back.
Being an older sister, I have my fair shair of stories that pertain to revenge, with a sisterly twist. My sisters and I, we like to play pranks on each other and are always trying to one up each other. Well, one day my sister decided that because it's my chore to do the dishes she was going to tape the handle of the squirter down so that as soon as I turned on the faucet, water would shoot out at me and get me soaking wet. Needless to say she was completely successful in her prank. I was mad, and determined to get revenge. Now, most people would pour a cup of cold water on someone when they're in the shower, but you have to remember that we aren't talking about most people. We're talking about me. I got a huge sauce pot and filled it with freezing cold water and ice cubes and dumped it over the top of the shower curtain. I won that battle.
Taylor Swift is the Queen of Revenge. Her music video for her song Picture to Burn is one of the best ways to possibly explain the feelings of how much people love to get back at those who have hurt them. The video shows her completely trashing her ex-boyfriend's house. Personally, I think that's a little too over the top. She also has another song called Better Than Revenge which explains how she'll deliver her revenge through punishment if she sees fit.
In Hamlet, Hamlet feels obligated to get revenge on his uncle. You see, weeks after Hamlet's father, King Hamlet, died, his mother married Hamlet's uncle, Claudius. This incestuous act makes Hamlet angry. To add even more drama to the whole situation, the ghost of Hamlet's father reveals to Hamlet that he was murdered by his own brother. Who would blame Hamlet for wanting revenge? Not me. Except unlike Hamlet, I wouldn't try and be sly about it. I'd let people know what he did and have justice served.
Right now I'd like to somehow get revenge for having to do these extremely annoying blogs. They frustrate me to the core and personally I think they're extremely pointless. Nobody cares how I feel about revenge or satire and I don't really care what they think, either. Actually, half of my classmates deserve to have revenge taken on them for things they've said. What they say isn't important to me at all.
Being an older sister, I have my fair shair of stories that pertain to revenge, with a sisterly twist. My sisters and I, we like to play pranks on each other and are always trying to one up each other. Well, one day my sister decided that because it's my chore to do the dishes she was going to tape the handle of the squirter down so that as soon as I turned on the faucet, water would shoot out at me and get me soaking wet. Needless to say she was completely successful in her prank. I was mad, and determined to get revenge. Now, most people would pour a cup of cold water on someone when they're in the shower, but you have to remember that we aren't talking about most people. We're talking about me. I got a huge sauce pot and filled it with freezing cold water and ice cubes and dumped it over the top of the shower curtain. I won that battle.
Taylor Swift is the Queen of Revenge. Her music video for her song Picture to Burn is one of the best ways to possibly explain the feelings of how much people love to get back at those who have hurt them. The video shows her completely trashing her ex-boyfriend's house. Personally, I think that's a little too over the top. She also has another song called Better Than Revenge which explains how she'll deliver her revenge through punishment if she sees fit.
In Hamlet, Hamlet feels obligated to get revenge on his uncle. You see, weeks after Hamlet's father, King Hamlet, died, his mother married Hamlet's uncle, Claudius. This incestuous act makes Hamlet angry. To add even more drama to the whole situation, the ghost of Hamlet's father reveals to Hamlet that he was murdered by his own brother. Who would blame Hamlet for wanting revenge? Not me. Except unlike Hamlet, I wouldn't try and be sly about it. I'd let people know what he did and have justice served.
Right now I'd like to somehow get revenge for having to do these extremely annoying blogs. They frustrate me to the core and personally I think they're extremely pointless. Nobody cares how I feel about revenge or satire and I don't really care what they think, either. Actually, half of my classmates deserve to have revenge taken on them for things they've said. What they say isn't important to me at all.
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Satire
Satire is sarcasm and boy am I good at that.
My use of satire is easily seen through my relationship with my sisters. As everyone knows, when you're the oldest you're ALWAYS right.
One day I didn't want to do the dishes because I always do them. We fought for awhile over why she couldn't do them and eventually she decided she would. Unfortunately for her, she broke a heavy glass dish. This is a quick recap of how the conversation went.
Mom: "How could you do that? That's my good china!"
My sister: "Mom, it really wasn't my fault! Kayla told me to do them!"
Me: "Well I didn't tell her she had to do all the dishes..."
As you can see, it wasn't my fault at all that she broke the dish. I didn't tell her to wash the heavy ones.
The writers of The Onion do a fantastic job of using satire in their articles. In the article Laid off Hostess Employee Forced To Look For Creme-Injecting Job Elsewhere it satirizes the fact that the employees are upset that they lost their jobs, however, their jobs weren't hard. They also didn't have a very important job. It's not like they helped to run the country. Finding a job that was as pointless as injecting creme won't be that difficult. This article uses a parody to mock the seriousness of so many people losing their jobs. It is bad that people are going to be out of work in this difficult economy but it's also funny that they are making such a big deal out of losing such a pointless job. I mean, the worlds not going to end if there isn't anymore twinkies. At least it won't end for me, however for other people that could be another story.
In The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Twain satirizes the fact that many people see the Arican American race as disgusting and unhuman when in fact there is really not much difference at all. Actually he makes fun of the white race and the heirarchy of the South a lot. When the King and Duke come on the raft and at first Huck believes they are who they say. Twain is making fun of the fact that in the South "titles" are so important that they can't even tell reality from, well, phony frauds. I know there is satire but i don't really think the book is funny at all. Most of the passages are actually boring and serious. How is that supposed to entertain me? The only thing remotely funny was the fued between the Gragerfords and Shepardsons because it was extremely comical that they didn't even know what they were fighting about. Was this making fun of Romeo and Juliet? I personally don't understand satire or how Twain even satirizes anything other than the racial segregation. I mean, what's so funny about a person who's trying to run away from being resold ito slavery?
The only thing I've read that had satire that I understood was Going Bovine. The book is about a teenage boy who is dyig from Mad Cow Disease and e is extremely sarcastic. There is a part of the novel where they throw a huge pep rally and he just doesn't care because he's going to die. This satirizes how people only start to care when something bad is going to happen.
I dont like satire. I might even like you better than satire. I probably understand someone I've never met better than satire.
My use of satire is easily seen through my relationship with my sisters. As everyone knows, when you're the oldest you're ALWAYS right.
One day I didn't want to do the dishes because I always do them. We fought for awhile over why she couldn't do them and eventually she decided she would. Unfortunately for her, she broke a heavy glass dish. This is a quick recap of how the conversation went.
Mom: "How could you do that? That's my good china!"
My sister: "Mom, it really wasn't my fault! Kayla told me to do them!"
Me: "Well I didn't tell her she had to do all the dishes..."
As you can see, it wasn't my fault at all that she broke the dish. I didn't tell her to wash the heavy ones.
The writers of The Onion do a fantastic job of using satire in their articles. In the article Laid off Hostess Employee Forced To Look For Creme-Injecting Job Elsewhere it satirizes the fact that the employees are upset that they lost their jobs, however, their jobs weren't hard. They also didn't have a very important job. It's not like they helped to run the country. Finding a job that was as pointless as injecting creme won't be that difficult. This article uses a parody to mock the seriousness of so many people losing their jobs. It is bad that people are going to be out of work in this difficult economy but it's also funny that they are making such a big deal out of losing such a pointless job. I mean, the worlds not going to end if there isn't anymore twinkies. At least it won't end for me, however for other people that could be another story.
In The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Twain satirizes the fact that many people see the Arican American race as disgusting and unhuman when in fact there is really not much difference at all. Actually he makes fun of the white race and the heirarchy of the South a lot. When the King and Duke come on the raft and at first Huck believes they are who they say. Twain is making fun of the fact that in the South "titles" are so important that they can't even tell reality from, well, phony frauds. I know there is satire but i don't really think the book is funny at all. Most of the passages are actually boring and serious. How is that supposed to entertain me? The only thing remotely funny was the fued between the Gragerfords and Shepardsons because it was extremely comical that they didn't even know what they were fighting about. Was this making fun of Romeo and Juliet? I personally don't understand satire or how Twain even satirizes anything other than the racial segregation. I mean, what's so funny about a person who's trying to run away from being resold ito slavery?
The only thing I've read that had satire that I understood was Going Bovine. The book is about a teenage boy who is dyig from Mad Cow Disease and e is extremely sarcastic. There is a part of the novel where they throw a huge pep rally and he just doesn't care because he's going to die. This satirizes how people only start to care when something bad is going to happen.
I dont like satire. I might even like you better than satire. I probably understand someone I've never met better than satire.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)